Seth Michael Donsky

Sensual Feng Shui for the Naked Home

Sensual Living

What would your house look like if the hottest lover you ever had was coming over? Think about it. . . . Whatever image just popped into your head, whatever actions you would take--your house should look like that all the time just for you. That’s what Sensual Feng Shui experts Barbara Carrellas and Terah Collins have to say-- and we couldn’t agree more. Sensual Feng Shui is about designing your home with ALL your senses in mind – what it looks, tastes, smells, sounds and feels like to the naked touch. “When your personal space is filled with things that nourish, satisfy, and indulge you, it takes on the ‘YES’ principle,” says Collins. “The more that the things you live with say YES to you, the more it restores and rejuvenates you. Conversely, when a space says NO wherever you turn, it promotes anxiety and exhaustion.” Here is our guide surrounding yourself with the principles of Sensual Feng Shui for your most romantic and relaxing home. Here is our guide to using the principles of Sensual Feng Shui. “Get ready,” says Carrellas, “to shake off that shabby, nobody-sees-it-but-me attitude and kick your love affair with sensuality and beauty to the next level.”

Furniture

Of course color, pattern and style matter, but make final purchase decisions about furniture based on how it feels. When shopping at a store do the nearly nude test. Dress to expose as much skin as is practical in order to feel what the furniture feels like against your bare arms and legs. When purchasing online – know the return policy – purchase a few pieces and make final decisions by touch after everything arrives.

Light and Air

Natural light, from the outdoors, is best, even at night: think moon glow and starlight. After that the soft glow of candlelight or a fireplace is preferable. Then supplement with as soft and dim a wattage as you can (as low as 7 watts early in the morning or late in the evening.) Install dimmers or rheostats. No fluorescent bulbs or direct overhead lighting. Air conditioning and /​ or artificial heat are fine but only when they make the quality of the air inside better than the quality of the outside air that would come into the room naturally.

“Be in control of the light, not the other way around.” – Terah Collins

“Your home is your personal theatre. The richest aspect of theatre is lighting.” – Barbara Carrellas

Morning Bedroom

Awake to high thread count cotton sheets and a feather bed on top of the mattress. Wake up fifteen minutes earlier so that you don’t have to rush into your day. Alarm clocks are unkind. Zen alarm clocks soothe you awake with gentle tones. Sunrise alarm clocks use ambient light. Arrange your bed so that the morning light lands on your face. If your outdoor environment sounds pleasing (birds or the seashore) sleep with the windows open. If not, use a white noise machine to drown out unpleasant city sounds. Give your naked ears time to adjust before bombarding them with the news. What’s the first thing your naked feet touch when you get out of bed? Polished hard wood floors feel wonderful. Area throw rugs add sensual texture and are easily washed.

“We should wake to a soft kiss from our surroundings, not a slap across the face.” – Terah Collins

Bathroom

Cold tile is unforgiving to naked feet. Use lush bath mats and area throw rugs. Choose a color for the walls that makes you look good. Most people don’t look attractive against stark whites, cool blues and greens, pale pinks and bright yellows. Avoid harsh shadows by installing low-watt light fixtures that create even sources of light on either side of you, slightly above eye level. Store away a make-up /​ shaving mirror for strong light as needed. Keep a bowl of lemons and limes and a knife nearby and use fresh citrus in place of a sponge. Learn a bit about aromatherapy and select products that support a good mood for you. Towels, bath mats, robes—everything should be soft to the touch. Bring in a small piece of upholstered furniture, if you have the space.

“Make the bathroom make you look beautiful.” – Terah Collins

“Light candles around the tub, toss in some bubble bath and a few water pillows and turn the bathroom into a romantic space.” – Barbara Carrellas


Kitchen

Have a beautiful bowl of fruit, an arrangement of flowers, or some kind of eye candy waiting to greet you as soon as you enter. Carefully select the first thing your naked taste buds taste in the morning. Treat yourself to luscious strawberries and really good, dark roast coffee. Sharp corners on kitchen counters are mean to bare limbs so drape something cushioning over them or strategically position a plant in front of them. If you’re purchasing a table for the kitchen go for a round or a square shape with rounded corners. Get rid of things that are falling apart, such as chipped mugs and frying pans with loose handles.

“Dressing in $4000 outfits but drinking economy coffee and eating canned fruit. What are you doing?” – Terah Collins

“Keep your underwear in the freezer for really hot days, like Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch” – Barbara Carrellas

Living Room

Arrange the room around the view, not the television. Consider the view from each sitting vantage point in the room. Is every view sumptuous or could it be improved by repositioning the furniture? Hang something on the wall with texture: a carving, a rug or a tapestry instead of a framed piece of art. A beautiful throw on the sofa will make even the most uptight person reach out and feel it. But don’t put so many pillows on the couch that it’s actually difficult to sit down on it. Create three-dimensionality to the room by varying the levels of chairs, coffee tables, end tables and sofa. Chairs should be less than ten feet away from each other.

“We can’t touch one another with our words if we’re sitting too far apart to actually reach out and touch.” – Terah Collins

Formal Dining Room

Many dining rooms suffer from being overly formal. The chairs often hurt to sit on or are uncomfortable for sitting for several hours and people are too worried about chipping, breaking, or scratching to enjoy the meal. Create atmosphere through ambient lighting: natural light for daytime meals and dramatic candlelight for sensual evening meals. Find sumptuous but durable tablecloths, place mats and napkins that feel good but clean easily so that you’re not afraid of a spill. And while it’s fine to have good china for special events be sure to have a set of dishes you enjoy and are comfortable using in the dining room daily.

“Most dining room chairs were never meant to be sat on.” – Terah Collins

“Go for beautiful, artistic candle holders and candles that invite you to light them.” – Barbara Carrellas

Dining Room Dumping Grounds

If you use the dining room as a storage bin, or you stack things on top of the dining room table, you’re confronted with everything that’s uncompleted or unsorted in your life every time you sit down to enjoy a meal. Maybe a computer’s moved in and your dining room has turned into a home office. In truth the room may be better off as a home office. Regardless, you need an intimate dining area that’s a magnet for a quiet conversation or thoughtful time by yourself. Create a dining nook within the larger room by screening off a section with a beautiful silk screen and a little carpet that defines the area. Or consider alternate, sensual dining spaces. Do you like to eat around the coffee table or in front of the fireplace in the winter? Why not dine in front of the very best view in the house, no matter what room it’s in? Find a space that allows you to eat reclining or even lying down if that’s what you’d like. Go ahead and eat where you want but be deliberate.

“There’s an Italian saying I’m fond of, ‘Life is all about going from the bed to the table and the table to the bed.’” – Barbara Carrellas

Outdoor Space

It’s wonderful to have an outdoor space where you’re comfortable being naked and free from the neighbor’s gaze to catch ten minutes of sun on your body. Create a sanctuary by building a private ivy-covered wall, or an outdoor shower open to the sky. Whether or not you choose to be naked there is up to you, but if there is an outdoor space where you could be naked, that’s a retreat. Spend some time there journaling or enjoying a cup of tea. If your outdoor space is a balcony, privatize it. Install a retractable shade that lets in the sun, and a beautiful chez lounge. If your outdoor space is a windowsill spice it up by growing herbs with scents. If you’re using lavender oils inside, grow lavender outside. Get your naked hands in the dirt.

Evening Bedroom

The bed must dominate. If you must have other media in the bedroom be sure that it easily hides away or covers when not in use. Don’t surround the bed with photographs of loved ones. It’s hard to be romantic with your extended family staring at you. Don’t stack the bed with so many pillows that it becomes difficult to actually get into it. Your lighting? Moonlight, candles and subtle lighting, in that order. Keep additional lighting sources tucked away nearby for times when you need more light, to read by, for example. Sensual art supports a romantic atmosphere as well. Consider things you can touch, such as sculpture, as well as paintings and prints. Mirrors are an interesting, and sexy consideration. Just be sure to create a way to cover them up, shut them away or curtain them off before going to bed.

“One couple I counseled had five daughters and 27 family pictures surrounding their bed. They couldn’t remember the last time they had made love.” – Terah Collins

Romantic Fantasy

Imagine your ideal romantic fantasy. Be as creative and outlandish as possible. Is it a cave? A crystal palace? A tropical island? Ask yourself what would be in that space and find creative ways of replicating that. If you dream of a crystal palace surround yourself with beautiful stones, rose quartz and amethyst. If you love the tropics put a burbling water fountain in the corner. Keep what you need on hand and close by. Put a small fridge in the bedroom closet stocked with water, fruit, champagne, Gatorade or whatever enhances your particular romantic mood. If the refrigerator feels a bit too much like a motel to you, use an ice bucket and a couple of crystal glasses.

“Think like a theatre director. Romance is enhanced by scenery, props, lighting and costumes.” – Barbara Carrellas

Sweet Dreams

Take a shower or bath— more symbolic than hygienic—just before bed, to wash off the day. Cool off on a warm evening with a cold shower or warm up in a hot bath on a cold, wintery night. Put a drop of essential oil on a light bulb near the bed just before you bathe and by the time you return the room will be fragrant and welcoming. Consider the last things you see or hear before nodding off to sleep. Just as at the start of the day, soothing classical music sets a more peaceful stage than late night news or reading murder mysteries. Darkness is essential. Light pollution is the enemy of restful sleep. Blackout curtains or a soft silk scarf across your eyes are great solutions. Be careful about sleeping computers with continuously pulsing lights and glowing digital alarm clocks. The Zen alarm clocks mentioned earlier come in analog models. Sweet dreams to you and enjoy your sensual Feng Shui adventures.

“When you love how your home looks and feels and delight in the tastes, smells and sounds it offers – you’ve turned your home into a inspirational, rejuvenating sanctuary.” – Terah Collins

“Let your environment help you feel like you’re making love to life all day long.”—Barbara Carrellas